I woke up very lazy this morning. My night was not that good; I had to wake up more than once during the night, the feeling of loneliness kept me awake. I went to the bathroom but instead of taking my morning shower, I was remembering my life month ago. I remembered the first day when I joined the army; my friends in the military camp, how we used to play together, study together, eat and sleep together. We were together all the time it is hard to be alone again. I did not want to graduate; I wish if it was not only a summer military camp so I could join it forever.
The song “Summer time sadness” was playing in my mind.
“I’ve got that summertime, summertime sadness
Sa Sa summertime, summertime sadness
Got that summertime, summertime sadness
Oh, oh oh oh
I think I’ll miss you forever
Like the stars miss the sun in the morning sky
Later is better than never
Even if you are gone I’m gonna drive drive drive”
I took a quick shower while singing very loud. I did not want to miss the class so I was running to my dressing room when my mother knocked on the door. As I opened the door, she said “Good morning Mai.” I replied, “Good morning mum, why are you up so early?” She answered with a worry smile on her face that she just wanted to check that I’m fine.I pretend that am busy with brushing my hair when I said, “of course I’m fine, why I would not be!” She explained that it is the first day after the summer vacation, and she knew that I feel lonely after leaving the military camp.
After she left, while am closing the door; I saw the black handbag that I used to use during the summer behind the door. I grabbed the bag, took all the stuff out and I found a small pink Burberry perfume. I bought myself this perfume the day before I joined the army and I loved how softly romantic it smelled on me. I bought it while my friends and I were at the mall buying the last things that we would take to the camp with us. As soon as I smelled that perfume, I went to another world. I was not in my room anymore; I was not home. I remembered my thoughts while I was in the army “I’m stronger than anything, no one will let me down I need to be the source of my happiness, and I will not depend on anyone.”
That smell brought up all the strengths that I felt this summer, that smell brought up the new Mai, the new thoughts and the new decisions. Even if I were not in the army; even if I’m not with my friends, the new strength, believes are with me and would be with me all the time. Leaving a place or people does not mean that it is done, as long as the memory is still alive. This perfume has changed my mood, my mind and my morning. Smell is our most primitive and least understood sense. Perfume manipulates that sense, instantly reminding us of good times past, and speaking of glamour and sophistication to those who get close. Having good times is needed but we have to accept that these good times will end, and we have to accept the normal average days even if we are lonely.
As I went out of my room, I saw my mother so I told her that I love her, am fine and I feel very happy this morning. I asked her not to worry about my. She replied with a warm smile “thanks god, I love you more.”